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I started “public speaking” as a boy. My debut was at church, giving a flannel-board lesson to the younger children. Flannel is wool or cotton, milled and raised slightly to give it an overall loft. Felt works also. To make the flannel-board, I stretched it across a sheet of thin plywood, which I then positioned on an easel for viewing. Using colored pencils, I painted a background on the flannel of what I supposed Israel looked like. (I had help, of course, from my
ever creative and very pushy mother, as all mothers should be.). A flannel-board kit came with little colored Bible figures, Jesus, the disciples, and baskets of food, for example – someone else’s idea of what all that looked like in 30 A.D. I cut them out. The little kids sat in front of the board. As I told the story of Jesus feeding the five-thousand, I would place the little figures on the flannel. The paper figures stuck to the flannel and, as the story progressed, were moved about or replaced with other figures.
I was scared out of my wits.
My second attempt was Cub Scouts, describing our Den’s recent project to cut out wooden pigs, etch them with a hot iron, sand, spread varnish, and make cutting boards for our moms’ kitchens. When all the parents gathered for the monthly meeting, I explained how we did it. That presentation was easier, mostly because I received a great deal of unasked-for, but much needed, help from my giggling cohorts.
Then, came my big debut. I had to make an announcement at our school’s parent/teacher meeting. Forty to fifty parents were present, and lots of students. I memorized my announcement. I was shaking in my little boots. (Contrary to the thoughts of most of those who live outside the Lone Star State, not all Texans wear cowboy boots. Only real Texans wear cowboy boots.)
My father gave me this advice, “Don’t look at each individual, That will make you nervous. Just look over the audience, right over the tops of their heads. They will envision that you are looking at them, and it will help you with the stage fright.”
Like so much of the standard advice you get about making presentations and public speaking, this one was was well-meaning, but poor advice. It was wrong, as I have since learned through years of training and practice. You do not look over your audience and you do not look down at the floor. You look them “straight in the eye.”
In my book, The Persuasive Wizard: How Technical Experts Sell Their Ideas, I discuss the techniques for persuasion. In my book, I make it a point to emphasize that persuasion requires different skills than public speaking; vastly different skills, and vastly different techniques.
For example, whether you are trying to persuade your boss for a raise, sell Avon products, or address an audience of fifty technical experts, you must ensure that every person in that room believes you are talking to them and only them. Thus, you must do just that.
I was in a recent meeting with Newt Gingrich. There were about forty people there. Gingrich spoke about twenty or so minutes and then took questions. Whether you vote for him for president or not, whether you agree with his politics or not, he is a master communicator (as are many of the candidates). He made eye-contact with “every” one of us. I thought Gingrich was talking to me and me, alone. So thought everyone else in the room
When I instruct you to look at “every” person in the room, I put the word “every” in quote marks because you do not usually look at “every” person, and certainly not in turn, not sequentially. What you do is look to the left, for instance, and make eye contact with one individual for about 1-3 seconds. Then, you look elsewhere, maybe left-of-center and look at another person for about the same amount of time. Then, look at someone in the front, near the center, maybe. Then, about half-way back on the right. You keep doing this throughout your presentation, looking at individuals.
The skill is to do this slowly, so that it is captivating, but unnoticed. You must not resemble a bobble-head. Take your time. Talk to each individual.
Never falter in your presentation. Just keep taking. Never look at someone so long that they feel uncomfortable. Never keep coming back to the same person until you have made the rounds with everyone. Of course, if there is only one person in the room, that means you look at them all the time. If there are ten, you will average looking at each one 10% of the time. In a very large audience, you may not actually look at “everyone” during a short presentation.
The point is this. Look at your audience. Do not look down at the floor or over their heads. Make them know that what you have to offer is for them and them, alone. You need them.
Do this, and you will find that they will also need you. Persuasion is an art you can learn.