Order from Amazon.com, The Persuasive Wizard: How Technical Experts Sell Their Ideas. Now available in Kindle e-book. The Persuasive Wizard is a must for anyone wanting a better job, desiring a raise in the current one, seeking investment funding, or just needing to persuade others. College and High School students find it invaluable as they begin their careers.
In the last article, we talked about The Persuasive Word, knowing how to proffer your ideas to achieve favorable action by decision makers. Sculpting your concepts with incisive language will ensure their effectiveness. In this article, we discuss an even more formidable weapon, the persuasive silence.
Once you begin your presentation, or even a business discussion over a meal, your adrenalin increases and all your facilities turbocharge. This is helpful in that it hones your thinking, amplifies your logic, and expands your bandwidth. It is detrimental in that, if unrestrained, makes you overly aggressive and monotonously garrulous. You need to check your your verbiage with silence.
One manifestation of silence might be interpreted as the “pause.” Every 60 seconds or so, stop for 4-5 seconds. Just stop and look at the audience with unemotional confidence. This does three things. One, it lets you catch your breath. Two, it gives your audience a moment to think about what you have just said. Three, the silence will remind you to look at your audience and see what they are doing.
Are they alive?
Luke tells us that the apostle Paul once preached into the night, causing a man, Eutychus, to fall asleep, topple out the third story window, and tumble to his death. Fortunately for everyone, Paul prayed and God raised the young Eutychus back to life.
I doubt you have that ability.
Do not keep talking until they all jump out the windows to freedom. Stop. Examine the situation and be circumspect about your next move.
Use silence for effect, respect, and aspect.
Another place where you must inject silence is when you are being queried. Most technologists will, in their minds and on their lips, begin to formulate an answer before the interrogator is half-finished with the question. I cannot tell you how many technologists I have heard answer a question, meticulously, slowly, carefully, exactly, precisely, taking time they did not have to answer a question that was not asked.
Listen to the question completely and do not speak. Do not begin to form words with your lips as if to silently interrupt. Remain silent and listen. Let the decision maker ask the question. Listen and do not, yourself, speak. Look the person in the eye, without emotion. Listen. Let the silence continue 2-3 seconds after the interrogator stops. Ensure the question is complete. Then, and only then, begin your response. If you do this, everyone in the room will be on the edge of their seats awaiting your response.
Silence is persuasive. Use it. I am reminded of the Swiss poet, Johann Caspar Lavater, who said,
“He knows not how to speak who cannot be silent.”
I am certain Lavater intended a different nuance, but it rings ever so true that silence and articulation are joined at the hip.
Contact: lgivens@thepersuasivewizard.com.